The Disaster of Big Mouths and Small Ears

Leaders fail when their mouths are too big and their ears are too small. Listening is powerful because it informs talking. The only way leaders know what to say is to listen.

Great leadership is great listening.

On a recent drive with a young leader I noticed how he’s learned to talk less and listen more. He’s able to hold his tongue, something few can do. I admire his growth.

Talking vs. Listening:

I’ve only met a handful of great listeners in my life. Typically, talking invigorates; listening exhausts.

Why so much talking:

Too much talking is the result of too little listening. People who don’t feel heard frequently talk more. Admittedly, some clam up. But, those with passion usually talk more.

The less you feel heard the more you need to talk.

The moment someone feels understood their need to talk, explain, or defend diminishes.

Goal of listening:

The goal of listening only begins with understanding; it ends with making others feel understood.

The first step toward exceptional listening is embracing silence. Just stop talking. Once you’re comfortable with silence you can step toward making others feel understood. Silence isn’t enough.

Acceptance:

Acceptance makes people feel understood. The reason we don’t extend acceptance is because we’re afraid it means approval. We’re stingy with approval.

Listening to judge rather than understand
makes people feel judged.

Learn to extend acceptance with your tone, facial expressions, and questions. You earn the right to challenge an idea after you understand and accept it. Ask how might this work rather than explaining why it won’t, for example.

Seriously:

Take the comments of others seriously and they’ll get serious about what they say. Dismissing suggestions, off handedly, invites adversarial interactions.

Benefit:

Making people feel understood opens hearts and minds. If you want people to listen to you, listen to them.

The Top 4 Qualities of Successful Leaders

You can’t lead when you know too much.

Education establishes barriers to thinking. Everything that comes your way is instantly judged by what you know. In some cases the less you know the more open you are.

People with knowledge say things like, “We can’t do that because…”

Another reason you can’t lead is too much experience.

You’ve been doing your job for years. You say things like, “We’ve always done it this way.” People with experience resist change.

Knowledge and experience hold leaders back when they result in closed minds.

Three qualities:

New worlds antiquate old worlds. Turbulence, new regulations, cultural shifts, and technological advancements make old knowledge and past experience less relevant. During changing times leaders must possess three qualities, in this order:

1. Character.
2. Curiosity.
3. Courage.

Character is acting in harmony with who we are and in alignment with noble virtues.

Curiosity is the ability to withhold judgment long enough to consider alternatives. Experience and education often block curiosity.

In a changing world the ability to ask questions is more powerful than making statements.

Courage is willingness to act boldly and decisively while taking responsibility.

The fourth quality:

In a world full of “can’t do’s” successful leaders ask, “What can we do?” Bright futures are built with action; bleak with inaction.

This morning I’m remembering all the “good” reasons I gave for doing nothing. At the time it seemed wise and right. Looking back it was foolish and pathetic. It took me years to learn that action, no matter how small, is better than inaction.

You may be courageous but apart from action you might as well be a coward.

10 Ways to Deal with Perfectionistic Roadblockers

“How do you deal with others who expend energy stopping people from reaching their goals?” The context is perfectionism. Perfectionistic roadblockers may act intentionally or accidentally out of ignorance.

The paralysis of perfection is rampant.

Four types of perfectionistic roadblockers:

1. Vision that’s so big it paralyzes.
2. Nitpicking next steps because they aren’t big enough.
3. Nothing but perfection will do. What about?
4. Lack of commitment to organizational direction. They don’t want to go there in the first place.

Strategies for dealing with perfectionistic roadblockers:

1. Listen to them! They may be right.
2. Persistently say, “Complex problems have more than one solution.” This opens the door to choosing reasonable options and moving forward. There are no perfect solutions.
3. Advocate for incomplete solutions that enable forward movement. An incomplete solution is better than no solution and no movement.
4. Determine if is some movement is better than none; it usually is.
5. Evaluate often. Ask, “Is the path we chose getting us there.” When you adopt incomplete solutions commit to evaluate them quickly.
6. Ask if they have better options. Many love to complain that we AREN’T there but don’t make positive suggestions.
7. Celebrate progress. Perfectionists love to point out that current progress isn’t enough. Celebrate anyway. Honor people who make positive contributions.
8. One reader adds, “Learn to walk away and disassociate from people who drag the energy out of your vision, to interact with them brings you down to their level.
9. Another reader added, “I Look for the key values these people hold (and I share). When delivering a partial solution I aim to demonstrate how this meets our values and moves them toward their vision.”

Tapping the Untapped Power of Power

Weak leaders struggle to gain power.

Insecure leaders fear losing it.

Power is good, it gets things done. Power is bad when it’s used to abuse and manipulate others for selfish ends.

Essential:

Who takes organizations further? You’ll go further with teams of powerful people. Those who never use power are doomed to be controlled by others.

Warren Bennis interviewed 90 individuals who were nominated by their peers as most influential leaders. They all shared one characteristic. They made others feel powerful. 

Great leaders use power to make others feel powerful.

Those who give power gain it.

Technically, no one can make you feel powerful. We can, however, create empowering environments and engage in empowering activities. Help others by helping them help themselves.

12 ways to help others feel powerful:

1. Share information.
2. Change your mind.
3. Expect positive results.
4. Train to enhance expertise.
5. Ask don’t command. (unless you’re in a crisis)
6. Set goals together rather than independently assigning them.
7. Authorize to act and decide.
8. Establish mistake-making policies before mistakes happen. Your reaction to mistakes is central to freeing others for powerful action.
9. Expect people to solve their own problems, as much as possible.
10. Be an external cheerleader – most have internal critics.
11. Express enthusiasm for their projects.
12. Stay involved in ways that aren’t meddling. Ask, “What can I do for you or how can I help?”

How to Read a Resume

  

Employers advertising for new staff are often overwhelmed by the number of resumes they receive. This means that learning how to read a resume quickly in order to see if the candidate meets your job requirements has become an essential skill for recruitment professionals.

The following sections cover some of the key items that you can quickly scan for in a resume to determine whether or not the candidate would be appropriate to interview for an open job position.

Look for Telltale Errors

If a candidate’s resume has numerous spelling, grammatical or formatting errors, then chances are they lack the attention to detail required by higher level job positions where polished written communication is important.

Other issues would include rambling text that could signify disorganized thinking, or a failure to clearly communicate, perhaps indicating that the individual may have a language related problem.

People who are challenged in their written communication often have difficulty operating effectively in the upper echelons of organizations. Nevertheless, they might function quite well in manual labor positions or in telephone sales or service jobs, provided that they can readily understand and be understood by others in verbal communication.

Recent and Relevant Background

When you read a resume, remember to keep in mind the job position or positions you are hiring for, and make sure that the candidate’s background and recent job history is relevant.

This background can include their educational qualifications, as well as the job functions that they have performed in the recent past.

Furthermore, the degree of success that the candidate had in both their educational path and in performing relevant jobs is an additional indicator of whether the candidate might be desirable or not.

Appropriate Level

In order to avoid excessive employee turnover, you will want to make sure that the job candidate has not operated at levels considerably above that of the position you are hiring for, since they are likely to leave once a better opportunity presents itself.

Similarly, you would probably not want to consider a recently low level employee for an executive position since they may not be familiar with how to operate at higher levels within an organization.

Convenient Physical Location

To prevent having to pay out high relocation expenses, look for candidates that are physically located near your place of business.

This helps avoid problems associated with long commutes, as well as keeping relocations costs and delays to a minimum.

20 Ways to Disagree with your Boss

If you never disagree you’re irrelevant. Here’s how to disagree successfully:

1. Ask what to do if you disagree before disagreements emerge.
2. Watch and learn when others disagree.
3. Avoid win-lose situations, it’s likely you’ll lose.
4. Know and embrace the boss’ goals. If you don’t align with the big picture, find another job.
5. Come with solutions and options or don’t come at all.
6. Defend your option don’t make them defend theirs.
7. Don’t prove the boss wrong unless you have the facts. (See #9!)
8. Come with the facts. Your opinion isn’t more valuable than others unless you’re an expert.
9. Private is better than public.
10. Listen, listen, listen. Listening is respecting. Respect opens the heart.
11. Fill your relationship with agreements before expressing disagreements. Every agreement is a deposit in your relationship-account. Express agreements frequently and publically.
12. Approach from the side not the front. Lateral approaches sound like, “Could I make a suggestion?”
13. Offer alternatives rather than critiques. “What if” is better than “But” and “Why.”
14. Don’t waste your relationship collateral nitpicking.
15. Publicly and privately align with organizational mission and vision. If you aren’t clearly entrenched in making positive impact, keep your mouth shut.
16. Understand that sandwiching disagreements between two agreements never works like you expect. Effective bosses cut to the chase and ignore peripherals. (Refer to #11)
17. Express agreements even though they don’t work. It’s respectful.
18. Stay focused on the present. Bringing up past issues is picking scabs off old sores.
19. Ask if you can test your option to see how it works.
20. Drop it. After the decision is made, if you can’t grab an oar and row like heck, grab a life vest and jump overboard.

10 Strategies for Building Confidence in Others

Insecure people who won’t try are frustrating. Insecurity stagnates. Confidence explodes outward, fear implodes. There’s little success or progress apart from personal confidence.

The problem of confidence:

You cannot make others feel confident.

Security and insecurity are functions of the self. Successful leaders, however, help others find confidence, assuming they want to find it.

The power of confidence:

Confident people dare, learn, stretch, and take on new challenges. Confidence takes you further than insecurity.

The process of confidence:

Joel Garfinkle responded with the calm voice of experience when I asked how leaders can build confidence in others. “Ask them how they overcame an obstacle or succeeded in the past. Everyone has achieved something.”

Joel’s been running behind his daughter’s bicycle teaching her to ride. Even a small children can ride faster and longer than dads can run. On the other end of the phone I smiled and bobbed my head as if Joel could see. Been there done that.

Learning to ride a bike is one of life’s great accomplishments. Joel’s daughter, like many of us, has a confidence-building experience in her past – something to build on. The more I remembered mine the better I felt.

The platform of confidence:

“Ask how they succeeded in the past,” Joel continued, “What did they do? How did they feel?”

Confidence is a function of successful risk-taking. Take them back to times when they didn’t take the easy out.

9 more principles for building confidence in others:

1. Allow employees to be accountable for their actions.
2. Provide decision-making opportunities.
3. Delegate important projects.
4. Acknowledge risk-taking behaviors.
5. Target high potentials.
6. Find potential on the fringe. Look beyond high profile individuals.
7. Assign stretch assignments.
8. Know what motives them.
9. Ask for answers to important problems.

Pros and Cons of Seeking Funding from Family Members

The one thing that holds most entrepreneurs back from breaking from the pack and starting their own businesses is money. Most people who work a 9-to-5 and have debt to pay simply cannot amass enough capital to successfully launch a business. Taking out a loan from the bank is risky and lands you even further in debt. Angel investors and venture capitalists are another option, but these professional investors will swallow amateurs whole without spitting out the bones if you disappoint them. That brings us to seeking funding from family members – the most obvious choice which most prospective entrepreneurs will cringe at picking.

The Pros

There are many benefits in receiving funding from family members. First, you know them better than other prospective investors, therefore you should know if your idea appeals to them. In addition, you will be far more at ease presenting your idea in a honest light to family members than professional investors. You know their income and the amount of money they can afford to invest. If they become majority shareholders, you can be reassured that the company will stay in the family and be relatively safe from a takeover (hopefully). If your business profits, you increase your family’s affluence. Family members won’t complain about overtime and short-term profits – after all, they are family and they are invested for the long run (hopefully).

The Cons

The disadvantages are obvious – can you afford to lose your family’s money? Handling family money is much harder than handling investors’ money – the line between your personal and business life becomes non-existent. Your overall familiarity with your family can also cripple your professionalism – both you and your family will likely violate professional boundaries. For example, a professional investor may only require a monthly status report for your business, but a family member may end up calling you every night if they are worried about their money. Family members may also overstep their bounds by trying to co-manage the business with you and attempt to oversee and change your business operations. Family members who are invested in your company may also seek executive positions in your company for which they are not qualified.

Considerations

If you are set on requesting funding from family members, you need to set up boundaries at the beginning. Have a lawyer draft up documents to clearly dictate their roles as investors, and their privileges. Clearly present your company’s business plan and long-term projections. Offer solid fiscal targets that they can look forward to achieving. Explain clearly that, as with any investment, they can lose all of their principal, and that you cannot be held accountable if this happens. Make them sign as many documents as it takes to eliminate these loopholes. Make it clear to your family members that they will be treated as investors, and not as family members, and distinct lines will be drawn between your personal and business relationships.