Even Whiners Can Lead

Whiners are potential leaders. But, pessimists can’t lead.
Leader as whiner:

1. Progress could be faster.
2. Quality could be better.
3. Team mates could give more.
4. Organizations aren’t meeting needs.
5. Structures block rather than energize success.

The line between whiner and leader is optimism.

Whiners become leaders when they press through "problem finding to problem solving."
The real anchor:
It’s easier for whiners to blame than take responsibility.

Whiners are blamers.
Blamers can’t lead.

The next time you hear yourself whining, take responsibility. Stop complaining about what others aren’t doing. Do something yourself.

Whining identifies potential improvements.

From whining to leading:

1. Talk less. Whiners talk too much and do too little. Talking apart from action centers on problems. Talking during action focuses on solutions. “How can we fix this” is better than “Here’s why it can’t be done.”
2. Solve what you can. Postpone the rest. A whiner who can’t postpone or prioritize is an overwhelmed whiner. Everything’s bad.
3. Feeling powerless is a self-imposed myth. You can always do something.
   
4. Plan for the worst. Contingency plans are a pessimist’s gift.
5. Consistently ask, “What’s next?”
6. Move from “What if?” to “We could.”
7. Listen to optimists. Don’t reject optimists because you believe they don’t see the whole picture. You don’t either.
8. Admit shooting things down isn’t a virtue.
9. Substitute lifting up for drag down. Your negativity makes others negative. Welcome to the dark work environment you created. Ask yourself, “How am I making others feel?”
10. Ask, “Where does whining take me?” When it’s a good place, go with it.

Great leaders whine with optimism.

Leaders do more than point out wrongs. They step toward remedies.
I’m a huge fan of whiners who work toward solutions. Beware of whiners who don’t find solutions. They’re destructive anchors.

10 Ways to “Deal With” Quiet People

Outgoing people have advantages in Western Culture. We’re often perceived to be smarter and stronger than quiet people, at least at first. One of my fatal leadership blunders was underestimating quiet people.

Big mouths don’t guarantee great leadership.

Quiet doesn’t equal:

1. Weak.
2. Push over.
3. Soft.
4. Stupid.
5. Detached.
6. Uncaring.
7. Untalented.

Never assume quiet is weak and loud is strong.

Danger:
Never assume silence is consent, when it comes to quiet people. Quick to speak, often means quick to commit. Slow to speak, often indicates need for more time and information before committing.
Don’t push quiet people too far, too fast. Respect their room.

Talkers want to talk it out. Quiet people enjoy thinking it out.

Occasionally, quiet indicates arrogant control freak. They won’t share information. They disagree but won’t say. Talkers do this, too. An ancient proverb says the one who withdraws wants his own way. Think two year old.
Leveraging quiet strength:

1. Honor their strengths. Never say, “Oh, they’re quiet,” like it’s a disease.
2. Respect their ability to commit. When they’re in, they’re really in.
3. Give them prep time. Don’t spring things on them.
4. Don’t assume silence is disagreement or consent. Just don’t assume.
5. Enjoy silence. Give them space by closing your mouth.
6. Ask questions, after you’ve given them think-time.
7. Invite feedback one-on-one rather than in groups.
8. Walk with them after meetings and ask, “What’s going through your mind?” The walking part is important.
9. Create quiet environments. Quiet people often enjoy quiet places.
10. Let them work alone. Stop demanding group work.

Believing You Can When You Can’t

Some singers only think they can sing. Tell them they can’t and you have a hearing problem.
Believing you can when you can’t frustrates others and hinders you. Some leaders only believe they can lead.

Deadly weaknesses masquerade as strength.

What if you’re not really great at:

1. Delegating.
2. Organizing.
3. Motivating.
4. Encouraging.
5. Negotiating.
6. Public speaking.
7. Running meetings.

What if the issue is you, not them? Feels awkward doesn’t it?
When you believe you can when you can’t:

1. Issues, faults, and failures become their issues, not yours. The problem is their ears not your glorious voice.
2. Better is enough. “If you knew how I led meetings in the past, you’d stop complaining about how I lead them now.”
3. Improvement stops. Why would you improve your speaking skills when you are a great speaker already? What’s been attained is never improved.
4. Talking is skill. During a recent leadership meeting we discussed the importance of delegating authority rather than tasks. Delegating tasks creates followers. Delegating authority creates leaders. However, in the next breath we delegated tasks. I thought I was good at delegating because I talked the concepts. In reality, I hadn’t adequately defined scope of authority or vision. I ended up delegating tasks.

New Assumption:

You haven’t arrived just yet.
There’s further to go than you think.

1. Listen to and believe feedback that points to frailties.
2. Stop excusing and explaining. Remove, “That’s because,” and, “They don’t understand,” from your language.
3. Develop skills diligently and persistently.