The Five Powers of Permission

Old styles of leadership are about giving permission to supplicants. Followers seek permission. It’s an “I/you” rather than “we” dynamic. Leaders have power while followers ask.
I/you leadership is disengaging and disempowering.
Successful leaders do more than give permission, they get it. Permission answers the question, “Is it ok with you if we talk about something?”
Five Powers of Permission:

1.  “May I …” builds trust.
2. “Would it be ok if …” shares power.
3. “Do you mind if …” equalizes social status.
4. “Could we discuss…” prevents stagnation. Permission moves the agenda forward when topics are awkward.
5. “Is it ok with you, if…” engages.

Permission opens doors, protects relationships, and prevents stagnation.

Ask permission to:

1. Bring up uncomfortable topics. Set a date for the conversation.
2. Explore progress.
3. Correct. “May I …”
4. Challenge.
5. Give feedback.
6. Say what you see. “Is it ok if I share something I see …”

Four responses to NO:
When permission isn’t granted? Ask:

1. How business-critical is the topic?
2. Is there a deeper issue to address?
3. Can you let it go?
4. Must you address it, regardless?

When topics are mission critical, say, “We need to talk about this soon.”
Just a courtesy:
Isn’t asking permission just social courtesy? Yes, sometimes it is. But, social courtesies smooth and protect. Perhaps you prefer to be discourteous and abrasive?
Four reasons leaders don’t ask permission:

1. Arrogance. It’s too humbling to ask and too easy to tell.
2. Fear of seeming weak.
3. Fear of losing power.
4. Authoritarian rather than relational leadership styles.

What does permission-leadership look like in your world?

Igniting Change from the Middle

Passion for positive change drives people crazy, especially those in the middle of organizations.
People at the bottom go along to get along. They won’t change until they’re sure top leadership supports change.
But, what if those at the top fear change?

The passionate-middle feels paralyzed by lack of interest or support from top leadership.
Igniting change:

1. Act before talking. Model the way. Do what you hope others will do.
2. Don’t ask do. Push the edges of your authority and responsibility. Don’t wait for permission.
3. Don’t tell. Stop telling those over you what they should do. They resist when they feel pushed. Do it yourself.

The fearful-top are followers.

The fearful-top won’t lead change because they fear losing what they have. They embrace change after you make it work. That’s not all bad.

Frustration:
Thinking frustrates the passionate-middle. The formula for frustration is, thinking about what could be combined with fearful-leaders.

Fearing your leaders makes you the fearful-middle.

Follow positive passion:
Find ways of thinking that enthuse rather than frustrate. Peruse behaviors that bring joy. The path grows darker if you can’t find ways to enjoy it.

What would you enjoy doing, next?

All or nothing:
Never allow what you can’t do obscure what you can.
Affirm:
Make a hero every time you see behaviors that create the preferred future. You can’t celebrate too much.
The right leaders:
Spend time with those passionate about change. Stop focusing on foot draggers.
Congratulations:
Never forget, the “passionate-middle” is a treasure to any organization. Where would they be without you? Don’t give up.